Ok...this is over the line.....

Do you think NBC could have been any more obvious, making the Obamanation look whiter than Joe blow Biden?

Give me freaking break here.....

33 Things I've Learned, Cause I know Jack!!

WHAT I'VE LEARNED: Jack Bauer
Counterterrorism Expert, Los Angeles
By Nicole Ranadive and Matt Michnovetz

1) Fuck diplomacy.

2) Actions speak louder than words. Though shouting can also be effective.

3) If you shoot a man's wife in the knee and he still doesn't give you the information, he's bad.

4) Revenge is the cruelest trick. I've seen it taken out on others, I've been victim to it, I've even done it myself. But it doesn't change anything, and it doesn't bring comfort.

5) Trust is the key to survival. And by trust, I mean getting out of the way and letting me do what I need to do.

6) The only thing harder than racing to stop a madman from releasing a deadly virus that will kill thousands of people is doing it while simultaneously trying to kick heroin.

7) I've been beaten, kidnapped, gassed, and shot at, but the most terrifying thing I've ever been through was facing my daughter after I made her believe I was dead.

8) I eat a lot of bananas. They're a good source of vitamin B and potassium. They're also easy to take on the move.

9) Love is a privilege.

10) If you have to trust someone, make it a quirky computer genius.

11) If I say "dammit," either something bad just happened, something bad is about to happen, or I'm going to do something drastic.

12) Any man can make a mistake. It's what he does to remedy that mistake that shows his character.

13) You better know who you are before you go undercover. If you don't, you could easily lose yourself.

14) Always carry at least one spare fully charged cell-phone battery.

15) So many times when I thought there was no more time, there was.

16) When interrogating a suspect, I've often found it effective to ask the question loudly and repeat it several times.

17) Remember, terrorists use the phone as much as we do.

18) In the event of a highway landing, always fasten your seat belt and return your chair and tray table to their upright and locked positions.

19) It's all key cards and thumb drives these days.

20) If the president of the United States ever orders you to shoot your boss in the head at point-blank range in cold blood, take a deep breath, ask God to forgive you, and just do it.

21) Without conscience, a man becomes his worst enemy.

22) Sometimes it's necessary to create a believable diversion, even at the risk of others thinking you're an asshole.

23) A cell phone can sometimes be used to activate a secondary detonator on a terrorist's explosive vest regardless of how many minutes are left on your plan.

24) Dead terrorists can often be effectively used as human shields. So can live ones.

25) Bureaucrats want results but never want to get their hands dirty.

26) The safety of the people I love is worth any sacrifice. Even their trust.

27) Some people don't deserve to die, but that's not my call.

28) Serbs have a different word for everything.

29) If you don't have a Taser gun, the wires from a lamp will deliver the current needed to shock your subject just enough to get him to give up the information you need without doing any permanent damage.

30) Sometimes you have to do the wrong thing for the right reasons.

31) You can't save everyone.

32) If you see me running down the street, it's probably a good idea to take cover.

33) Don't piss off the Chinese.

Nicole Ranadive is the staff writer of 24. Matt Michnovetz is the show's story editor.

Israel 1, Palestine 0

An ingenious example of speech and politics occurred recently at the UN and made the world community smile. A representative from Israel began: "Before beginning my talk I want to tell you something about Moses. When he struck the rock and it brought forth water, he thought, 'What a good opportunity to have a bath!' He removed his clothes, put them aside on the rock and entered the water.

When he got out and wanted to dress, his clothes had vanished. A Palestinian had stolen them."

The Palestinian representative jumped up furiously and shouted, "What are you talking about? The Palestinians weren't there then."

The Israeli representative smiled and said "And now that we have made that clear, I will begin my speech."

Probably isn't true, but wouldn't you just LOVE to hear that at the UN?

Penguin Mishap

WTF!?!

How to Reduce Your Carbon Footprint

How to reduce your carbon footprint....
Try to avoid stepping in any carbon.

If Wishes were...

Deepest wishes are easy to share.
Deepest secrets are never to share.
Deepest wishes make life what it is.
Deepest secrets make life what it was.
Who do you tell YOUR deepest wishes to?
Who DON'T you tell your deepest secrets too?

All Men...

All men are cremated equal.....

Give a man a...

Give a man a fire and he's warm for a day.
Set a man on fire and he's warm for the rest of his life.

It's a "Guy Thing"

Even in nature, there are times when things need a good scratching...

And there are times I wished I had a set of those antlers...

Casa D' Ice; A Restaurant and Lounge with a Message...

This guy has more guts than most, especially coming from a blue state....

COURTESY OF http://www.casadice.com/

Thanks Bill and... uh... Bill... try not to hold in your feelings.

BEFORE IT'S TOO LATE

WIN 2 TICKETS ALL EXPENSES PAID INCLUDING AIR FARES TO THE 2008 OLYMPIC GAMES IN BEIJING, CHINA.

To participate is very easy, just view the attached photo, correctly
answer the following questions and send your answers to:
International Olympic Committee, Private Bag, Lausanne, Switzerland .

1. Which student seems to appear tired / sleepy?
2. Which ones are male twins?
3. Which ones are the female twins?
4. How many women are in the group?
5. Which one is the teacher?

Good Luck!

VERY INTERESTING – BUT ONLY A SPARK OF TRUTH...

This has been circulating around the internet for quite some time. While it would be wonderful to believe all of it, it is only about 5% correct. The rest is pure Urban Legend. Here is only one source that answers most of my questions.

Feel free to research this and find your own answers.

VERY INTERESTING –

1. The Garden of Eden was in Iraq.

2. Mesopotamia, which is now Iraq, was the cradle of civilization!

3. Noah built the ark in Iraq.

4. The Tower of Babel was in Iraq.

5. Abraham was from Ur, which is in Southern Iraq!

6. Isaac's wife Rebekah is from Nahor, which is in Iraq!

7. Jacob met Rachel in Iraq.

8. Jonah preached in Nineveh - which is in Iraq.

9. Assyria, which is in Iraq, conquered the ten tribes of Israel.

10. Amos cried out in Iraq!

11. Babylon, which is in Iraq, destroyed Jerusalem.

12. Daniel was in the lion's den in Iraq!

13. The three Hebrew children were in the fire in Iraq (Jesus had been in Iraq also as the fourth person in the fiery furnace!)

14. Belshazzar, the King of Babylon saw the "writing on the wall" in Iraq.

15. Nebuchadnezzar, King of Babylon, carried the Jews captive into Iraq.

16. Ezekiel preached in Iraq.

17. The wise men were from Iraq.

18. Peter preached in Iraq.

19. The "Empire of Man" described in Revelation is called Babylon, which was a city in Iraq!

And, you have probably seen this one. Israel is the nation most often mentioned in the Bible. But do you know which nation is second? It is Iraq! However, that is not the name that is used in the Bible. The names used in the Bible are Babylon, Land of Shinar, and Mesopotamia. The word Mesopotamia means between the two rivers, more exactly between the Tigris and Euphrates Rivers. The name Iraq, means country with deep roots.

Indeed Iraq is a country with deep roots and is a very significant country in the Bible.

No other nation, except Israel, has more history and prophecy associated it than Iraq.

This is something to think about! Since America is typically represented by an eagle. Saddam should have read up on his Muslim passages...

The following verse is from the Koran, (the Islamic Bible) Koran (9:11) - For it is written that a son of Arabia would awaken a fearsome Eagle. The wrath of the Eagle would be felt throughout the lands of Allah and lo, while some of the people trembled in despair still more rejoiced; for the wrath of the Eagle cleansed the lands of Allah; and there was peace.

If This Were Only Real...

This is the paragraph that comes with the video:

"This Fantastic Machine was built as a collaborative effort between The Robert M. Trammell Music Conservatory and the Sharon Wick School of Engineering at the U.of Iowa. 97% of the machine's components came from John Deere & Irrigation Equipment of Bancroft, Iowa. Yes, farm equipment!
It took the team a combined 13,029 hours of set-up, alignment, calibration, and tuning. It's on display in the Matthew Gerhard Alumni Hall at the U. of Iowa and is to be donated to the Smithsonian."

If you go here, you'll get the real story.

Regardless... the video is pretty dammed impressive....

Go on... take a peek....

If G_d Were To Give The World An Enema....

This is where he would stick the tube.....

You just can't make this shit up....

Famous Last Words...

I know...nothing good ever follows, "Hey Bubba...Check dis out." but really, THIS just might just be an exception...

Children

Kids are the greatest things. They keep us young and energized. We spend years giving them all of our advice and wisdom hoping with every fiber of our being that one tiny bit of data is absorbed into their clean hard drives. We strive to show them right from wrong; good from bad; how to make choices; how to determine if the choices they made are valid; how to take responsibility for any bad choices they make; how to deal with the consequences of bad choices.

We hand feed them until they learn to pick up a spoon and fork and attempt to aim for their mouth. We prepare meals for them to make sure they get the nourishment they need to help them grow properly. We teach them proper table manners. We teach them respect for adults, each other, if there are siblings and respect for themselves. We buy them clothes to make sure they are warm in the winter and cool in the summer. We enroll them in Boys Scouts and Girl Scouts to help give them a moral boost and to learn to get along as a group.

We teach them to ride a bike so they can learn balance, coordination and their first taste of independence and freedom. We allow them to make mistakes and guide them in a recovery process to correct their mistake and learn from it.

We allow them to touch the stove (metaphorically speaking). They learn the stove is hot and they don't touch it again. Touching the stove is part of growing up. It's what builds character. It's the seed of wisdom.

They fall, we pick them up, comfort them for a second, wiping tears from a tear stained dirty face, while we are secretly checking for broken bones, cuts and scrapes. We kiss them on the cheek, tell them it's all right and push them back into whatever they were doing, which usually turns out more like they RUN back to whatever they were doing.

We bury goldfish, dogs and cats with all of the pomp and circumstance that would rate a King or Queen. We teach them that life is precious and that every living thing one day returns to the earth where it continues the circle of life, and we teach them that their souls go to heaven for God to judge how they lead their lives.

Then they become teenagers and somehow the hard drive gets wiped clean, and you have to start all over. They can no longer reason; they can no longer tell the difference between right and wrong; they screw up and the first thing they do is look around to see who's going to bail them out. Let me rephrase that... they look to the parents TO bail them out and get totally belligerent when we say no.

Was all the time and energy, sweat and tears we invested in them trying to guide them through the process of becoming well adjusted normal human beings wasted?

Well... on a rare few... yes, a total waste of time, but on the others... No. At some point in their life, they realize that their destiny is in their own hands. They actually start realizing that we, as parents are not as stupid as they thought.

Parenting is such a thankless job.

I need mass quantities of liquor....

One Thing...

If there was one thing in the world that you wanted to change, what would it be? Well, I can only speak for myself, but if there was one thing that I could change, it would be the "Ins" or "Insert" key on the keyboard.

It is a useless key and serves no purpose.What good does it do? Do you know anyone that uses it? I sure as hell don't.

I'm not a professional typist and can't type crap without looking at the key board. When I look at the screen while I'm typing it looks like this. Tghy qhyuxj kazr cis jnui opwes kcesr rbhew crau fuiem. This was supposed to be "The quick brown fox jumped over the lazy dog... it wasn't even close. So needless to say, I don't look at the screen very often when I'm typing.

But what really pisses me off is when I look up and everything is disappearing because I've accidently hit the damned Insert key while I'm trying to actually insert something into existing text. It doesn't even insert... it replaces... why don't they call it "Rep" or "Replace"... it sure as hell doen't insert. Change the name and then move it some where out of the damned way for crying out loud! Or just get rid of the damned thing all together.

At least the Alt key performs a function, though it doesn't alter any thing nor does it alternate TO anything, but it comes in handy when the rodent decides to quit working.

Ctrl is the same way... doesn't control shit, but does perform a few useful fuctions as well.

But DAM "Ins" really pisses me off.

I think it's time for a bowel movement.